Protecting traditional marriage is probably not on top of your ‘To Do’ list. In fact it may not even be on your list. However for some of the 2-3% of the population that identify as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender [*1], this is the top issue – and quite possibly the only national issue. While I identify with this group as a bi-sexual man (and once almost exclusively homosexual) I cannot lend support to this cause. The changes will alter society in such as way that it is more likely, not less, that this and future generations will be shaped and encouraged as I was.
Internationally, same-sex marriage has proven itself as the key that unlocks the culture. Massive change most do not anticipate will cascade upon our culture. Once that power is given – even though some might recognize it is wise to ‘stop there’ – world experience shows this has yet to happen, anywhere, or in any meaningful way.
Like dominoes falling, changes will come into play. Same-sex marriage can empower irreversible, generational and horrific abuse! The cultural power it brings is immense. This is why both the people seeking to change marriage as well as those defending it are pouring out their lives in this battle. This is why they are so motivated.
The Political Agenda
During the last Federal election, conservatives and the cautious were concerned about placing a declared atheist, committed Fabian (a group that chose a wolf in sheep’s clothing as its branding) and an Emily’s List member into The Lodge [*2]. They had good reason.
Prime Minister Gillard needed to turn on the charm in the last lap of the election; part of which was an interview with Australian Christian Lobby director Jim Wallace. Jim pressed her for a recorded commitment and she gave one as part of her mandate of winning the conservative vote. Personally, I believe that commitment is the only reason same-sex marriage has not already been undemocratically thrust upon us. (PS: Thanks Jim!)
All politicians likely want the issue settled quickly (though there are exceptional heroes holding the line). Few want this issue around at election time. It has too many unknowns. For those with more revolutionary and destabilising intent, this is the opportunity to be a hero and darling of the socialist, sexual diversity, and ultra-feminist movements. Being the reason same sex-marriage was created would be a trophy on their wall (at least for five years or so, when the damage starts to show itself – or when their grandchildren are bearing the fruits of sexual diversity training).
This is a ‘NOW’ issue because politicians don’t like unknowns, especially one that the mainstream media has a clear bias on.
Why Some LGBTQ People WANT Marriage?
The push for same-sex marriage seems to very much be top-down in nature. It is the lobbyists and leaders who push aggressively for it. At street level though, the desire for marriage and the belief in this action is more varied. Many homosexuals have no desire to marry. I would even venture to speculate that most do not [*3].
There can be many reasons why LGBTQ people want marriage:
Some, the activists and radicals want massive social change, and damn anyone who opposes them or get hurt in the process.
Others are anger driven. They want to stick it to the straights and tear down their ‘phoney’ institutions.
There are those who want it because they don’t have it. It’s not that they’ll ever use it, they’d just like the option.
Some are in love and want that publicly declared. Now I know people who say same-sex love is a misnomer; “It’s just lust!” they declare. Respectfully, then as now, I disagree. But it is still an emotion and a relationship. It does not qualify for marriage.
Some want to stay in love. Gay people see the relational transitioning in LGBT circles, especially the men. They think marriage’ will help.
- Almost everybody wants legitimacy and public approval.
Why Some LGBTQ People DO NOT WANT Marriage?
There can be many reasons for RESISTING IT also:
Some do not want it because they enjoy the ingrained culture of promiscuity. It is the standard, not the exception (at least while you’re young and you’ve still got it).
Others do not want it because “born this way” has always felt like a lie. There’s a genuine desire to not play a part in institutionalizing and affirming the lie.
Others desperately want, by any means, to spare kids of the life they are living (even if they’re not sure how).
Some, like myself, have experienced degrees of change, some small, some large. But there is no ‘maybe’ involved. We want future kids to have better than we had. And if same-sex marriage affirms same-sex attraction; which it fundamentally and systematically will, that truth becomes very hard to find … effectively illegal.
As a Same-Sex Attracted Man, I understand.
There is a sense of pain, isolation, misunderstanding and injustice. Sexually diverse people feel it; they live it. I get that, yet I know that accelerating sexual diversity is not the answer.
Everyone will suffer under such a change. I empathise with those who want it, but in no way is it endorsable. I believe we should have a more empathetic culture than we now have. But this is not the way.
These words might sound presumptuous or superior, but they aren’t. Becoming a grown-up means realizing that a healthy life includes pain, boundaries and limitations. For the sake of future children I am asking the ‘straights’ to stand up and defend marriage to protect the children. And to my brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ scene, I ask you to realize that though boundaries and circumstances were less than hospitable to us, it is wrong to force even worse on future generations. Every one of us, hetero, homo, bi or whatever, need to be grown up about this.
Becoming a grown-up means taking responsibility for protecting and advocating for the vulnerable, lost, weak and broken. Becoming a grown-up means inconveniencing yourself, seeking to understand and then acting deliberately with good conscience. Being grown-up means being motivated in the right way and for the right things.
This site is for grown-ups. I hope you find it helpful.
In Your Service and in Your Defense
The Sensible Man
Created 12.8.11. Updated 27.12.12
- After decades of hearing the 10% numbers bandied around, this might seem a little low, but at the time of writing it was founded on solid research. This will be verified and cited as we work through the priorities we juggle.
- Feel free to Google either of these groups if it interests you. We won’t get into it here.
- I know we have research on this. When time becomes available, I’ll provide it.